Last weekend, we went to church at Westwood Baptist with Josh's family. We heard an amazing word from God about how our families today are not God-centered but kid-centered! It is not a sin to love your child and to give them a good life, but our goal as adults is to teach our kids to follow God and bless Him with their lives. You can go to the Westwood website to hear this sermon. It was great and helpful to me as I work with kids daily and see this in families today. I hope it blesses you like it did me.
Our American Idols: Our Kids
Ephesians 5:31-6:4 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”[e] This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”[a And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
1. Don’t discipline out of your anger.
Godly discipline is healthy. Our goal as parents is not to be liked but to raise healthy children who love God. Think of Veruca Salt in the movie Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Veruca says, “Daddy, I want the golden ticket now.” Daddy, “I hate to see her unhappy.”
2. Be consistent with discipline.
Must be consistent between grandparents house and home, as well as school and home.
3. Don’t have double standards.
Philippians 4:9 “The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.”
4. When you are wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness.
*Acknowledge your sin. Say “I did something that doesn’t please God.”
*Be specific.
*Identify your change in behavior and repent.
*Ask for forgiveness.
5. Don’t constantly find fault.
*Choose battles wisely.
Proverbs 19:11 “The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, And his glory is to overlook a transgression.” Do Not Provoke Your Children to Anger. Jokes really hurt.
6. Listen to your child’s opinion and take him or her seriously.
*Proverbs 18:13 “He who answers a matter before he hears it, It is folly and shame to him.”
7. Don’t compare your child to other children.
8. Be fair. Don’t practice favoritism.
9. Make time to talk with your child.
10. Praise and encourage your child when appropriate.
*Balance praise with corrections.
11. Always keep your promises.
12. Try not to discipline in front of others.
Matthew 18:15 “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.”
13. Allow age-appropriate, progressive freedoms. Luke 12:48 “But he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, shall be beaten with few. For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.”
14. Have realistic expectations.
1 Cor. 13:11 “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.”
Ephesians 5:31-6:4 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”[e] This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”[a And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
1. Don’t discipline out of your anger.
Godly discipline is healthy. Our goal as parents is not to be liked but to raise healthy children who love God. Think of Veruca Salt in the movie Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Veruca says, “Daddy, I want the golden ticket now.” Daddy, “I hate to see her unhappy.”
2. Be consistent with discipline.
Must be consistent between grandparents house and home, as well as school and home.
3. Don’t have double standards.
Philippians 4:9 “The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.”
4. When you are wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness.
*Acknowledge your sin. Say “I did something that doesn’t please God.”
*Be specific.
*Identify your change in behavior and repent.
*Ask for forgiveness.
5. Don’t constantly find fault.
*Choose battles wisely.
Proverbs 19:11 “The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, And his glory is to overlook a transgression.” Do Not Provoke Your Children to Anger. Jokes really hurt.
6. Listen to your child’s opinion and take him or her seriously.
*Proverbs 18:13 “He who answers a matter before he hears it, It is folly and shame to him.”
7. Don’t compare your child to other children.
8. Be fair. Don’t practice favoritism.
9. Make time to talk with your child.
10. Praise and encourage your child when appropriate.
*Balance praise with corrections.
11. Always keep your promises.
12. Try not to discipline in front of others.
Matthew 18:15 “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.”
13. Allow age-appropriate, progressive freedoms. Luke 12:48 “But he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, shall be beaten with few. For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.”
14. Have realistic expectations.
1 Cor. 13:11 “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.”
Child-centered homes vs. God-centered homes
Child-Centered Homes: *Kids interrupt their parents when they are talking
*Kids use manipulation to get what they want
*Kids dictate the family schedule
*Child is equal to the spouse
*Child speaks to the parents as their peers
*Budget is set by the child
*Parents cook more than 1 meal to suit all family members
*The child’s desires are the focal point of the family
*The child’s opinion is the most important
God-Centered Homes: *Parents teach the child to serve others
*Child obeys cheerfully
*Child does not interrupt their parents talking
*Kids won’t get their way in all situations
*Kids realize that parents have other responsibilities other than just them and making them happy
*Kids realize that there are consequences for their behaviors
*Kids have a vote in family decisions but their opinions do not count more than the other family members
*The kids do chores and all family members have responsibilities
*The kids are not more intimate with each parent than the parents are with each other
1 comments:
I see that you are a lab lover too. We have a 6 year old black lab mix named Belle. I say that to tell you if you are up for a laugh and cry book, Marley and Me is a good one! It's about a yellow lab (a BAD lab) and the lessons he taught his owner through his long life. Anyway, I saw your pic and thought I'd mention it to you. :)
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